So many of you will have stumbled across this blog wondering what the hell this would be about.. As you may have or may not have guessed, it is about the life of a typical Asian/Indian girl. In particular this girl is or was me.
“How many boyfriends have you had? How many sexual experiences have you been through? How much of that do you have to hide?” The answer is my whole life is a lie. I base those answers around whom I’m with and how I think they will judge me. It could be any number from 3 to 10. It could even be more.. Some experiences led to heart break and others just made me feel things I thought I could never experience.
I thought I’d write out each experience in my life hoping to relate these to other girls. Other girls who feel or have felt vulnerable in their life. Other girls think that lying to themselves solves everything.
The truth is, that it does. Lying solves everything for five minutes, five hours or five days. However avoiding your past is something many of us struggle to do. It all comes crashing down mentally and we have to be the only ones to pick ourselves up!
I am now working and have an amazing person by my side who did ask me how many people I had sex with. Naturally, there are more than 5 and those thoughts crept into my already prepared mind. I answered “There was only 1 guy before you“, with the most weirdest but convincing face I could pull.
So is that even right? I do wonder all the time if I’ve just become a compulsive liar. I can lie through my teeth again and again and believe those lies. But no, again it all comes flooding back into my mind and I’m left going back to square one.
Let me start off, or even end this first entry by telling you a bit about myself. My name is Maya (that again could be a lie). I have a younger brother and work in the scientific field. My dad is an overbearing arse at times who tries to control everything he can. My mum is well the sweetest yet most annoying best friend I could ever have. I still don’t think I could reveal my story to her. Too much she wouldn’t want to know!
So let me tell you my story of covered lies and see if it relates to you….